Women are lucky to live in an age where being single does not automatically mean that she has a problem. They can take their time in looking for the right guy and wait till he comes along. But when you have spent way too much time and money on dates and begin to wonder if there are actually any nice guys out there, maybe you are doing something wrong. Here is a list of the ten biggest mistakes that single women make when it comes to dating and relationships.
Hanging out in groups
Men are wary of approaching women who are surrounded by too many people. You might like to bond with your pals over Sunday lunches or have a wide girls’ night once every five days, but remember men are unlikely to ask you out if they cannot get you alone. This mainly has to do with the fragile male ego since they are super sensitive about being thought of as a fool or a weirdo. So take a respite from your girly gang once in a while, go out to enjoy life by yourself and you may just be surprised with a nice looking guy asking if he can share your thoughts over a latte.
Dating too many guys
While it is a good idea to have choices when it comes to men, keep in mind that you are not shopping for a couch. Going out with too many guys can bombard you with multiple impressions, leaving you confused and in a haze. So decide on your expectations from a relationship and what you just cannot do without in a partner. Then date only those guys who meet your essential requirements with perhaps a margin of relaxation or two. At the same time don’t keep thinking you have unlimited options in your life. No sooner than you decide that this is a nice guy, than you begin to wonder if there is somebody better out there. The longer you look around, the more likely you are to remain dissatisfied.
Giving out too much about yourself
Today online dating and social networking sites have emerged as invaluable tools for finding a partner. While you could make use of your profile on these sites to attract the kind of dates you want, giving out too much information about yourself could however have an adverse effect. Guys are attracted to a bit of mystery in their women. So if you want to retain a potential partner’s interest, tell him just enough to tease his curiosity but hold enough back to make him want to know more.
Being too picky
With the help of online dating sites, a woman is able to know a good deal about the objective traits of a guy even before she has met him. You might want to date guys with certain kind of height, income and taste in music. However unless you meet him in person, if is difficult to know about his subjective qualities like kindness to others and loyalty to friends. So instead of being too choosy about whom to go out with, give men a chance to prove their inner worth too.
Not caring enough about your appearance
When you are looking for a partner, you cannot be too careful about your looks. While this does not mean that you have to copy Ashley Greene’s wardrobe on her Twilight promotional tour, it would vastly help if you could appear well groomed with a personal style that suits you. Not all women are born with an impeccable fashion sense or more importantly a bank balance that allows such indulgence, but making the most of your looks and resources may be worth the effort if you are looking to attract the right kind of man.
Bitching about your ex
While the need to get the jerk out of your system is understandable, there is a time and place for such negative expressions against a former partner. If your current date notices that you keep ranting against your ex, he will deduce, and correctly too, that you still haven’t got over your past relationship and therefore emotionally not yet ready for a new one. After this realization, there is little that he is going to have to do with you unless you display signs of emotional maturity and let go of the past.
Needing to share the same interests
Common interests and pursuits are some of the most enjoyable ways of spending time with each other and in the long run help a couple to remain together. At the same time it is unreasonable to expect a partner to like the very same things in the very same manner all the time. While you both may enjoy traveling, your partner may like to explore a new place at her own pace while for you a vacation means packed with things to do and see. If you have been rejecting potential mates since they do not share your interests in exactly the way you want, it may be time to learn to relax a little.
Being too judgmental
This is one of the most common reasons why single women are unable to find a long term partner. They tend to micro-analyze a potential relationship to such details that every flaw and imperfection gets magnified a thousand times and the guy gets inevitably rejected. So if you have the habit of sitting with your girlfriends and psychologically dissecting your last date, get wise and stop before you run out of men to put under the microscope.
Going for the alpha-male
In these fiercely competitive times, success and fame are the biggest draws in potential mates. A single woman looking for the man who has it all – looks, money and charm – might be ignoring men who are also kind, funny and good at what they do but perhaps not as tall as she would like them to be or not earning in millions. The alpha male in turn will only settle for the most glamorous looking woman who is also a Harvard business school topper. And for all his social and professional success, he may not turn out to be such a good partner after all.
‘I don’t need a man’
Finally the “I don’t need a man” mantra may be doing your more harm than good. It is true that a woman does not need a man to feel special and successful but if she wants one and goes around with this attitude, she is unlikely ever to find a partner. It is good to love yourself but if you don’t want to be left alone, it is even better to love yourself and have some loving left over to give to another.